How Abi Got Her Groove Back

A couple of weeks ago I did a colour analysis, dressing for your body shape session and wardrobe edit with Abi. We have a personal shopping session booked for October, which we’re both really excited about.

Abi is in her mid-fifties, a counsellor working with children and young people and she’s a mother of three.  For the past twenty five years she’s been fully focused on raising her family, helping others in her career and looking after elderly parents.

As her daughters started to move out, something shifted in Abi, and she realised that the time had come to focus on herself.

Abi is exactly the kind of woman I see over and over again; women in midlife who feel that they have become somewhat invisible and want to start rediscovering themselves. It might be a new hobby, retraining for a different career path or going back to the gym. For my clients it can start really small; finding out that they can really carry red lipstick, the difference it makes to their eyes when they swap black mascara for a softer brown or how a raspberry coloured sweater is suddenly eliciting a lot of compliments from colleagues.

Many women lose themselves twice in motherhood. There can be a profound loss of identity (and the sudden imposition of a new identity) when we first become mothers. Then it often happens again on the other side, where our children grow up and many of us are left wondering who we are now. Throw menopause and perimenopause into the mix and suddenly there are a lot of women in midlife who are confused about who and how they should be dressing now.

These are the women I really enjoy working with, because the effects can be immediate and transformative. I get a huge amount of pleasure when I receive a message from a client after our session, to say that she’s suddenly receiving compliments on her appearance, or that she’s enjoying going shopping for the first time in years or how good she feels in the colours I’ve suggested for her.

I’ll stop talking now as it’s over to Abi who wanted me to share her thoughts after our session:

‘I would go as far as to say that this experience has been potentially life changing for me. For years I have felt invisible and have always put my children first. I was aware of only wearing black in the belief that it was slimming and suited me.’

‘As soon as Rachel arrived I immediately felt at ease. She has an energy that made me feel comfortable, an energy that you want to be around. She was warm, friendly, passionate, knowledgeable, non-judgmental and fun.’

‘She felt like the right person for the job and says things how they are, with warmth and sensitivity. She clearly knew what she was doing and I felt like she was rooting for me.’

‘I was intrigued to know my colour season and loved the colour analysis. It was interesting to learn about the history of colour and art and fascinating to see when the colours were held up to my face how some made me look ruddy or drained and how my ‘wow’ colours lifted me and made me look younger. I can now see how the black is not nearly as flattering as I thought.’

‘The wardrobe edit was revealing and emotional. There was a lightbulb moment where Rachel and I were looking at the black in the wardrobe and it made me feel really sad. Rachel suggested that I had been hiding behind the black and she was right. I realised that they don’t represent me and they were ‘safe’. I felt emotionally safe to express these feelings to Rachel and she was so lovely and warm and encouraging.’

Rachel really understood my body shape and suggested styles which would suit me and which shapes and fabrics to avoid. Although I knew this to a degree, it was good to have a professional opinion and to have pointers when out shopping. Rachel was very complimentary about my legs - we all love a compliment but she said it so earnestly and I felt like she really wanted to uplift me.’

‘At the end I felt ready to leave the old me behind and create a new me - with clothes and styles that looked good on me. I felt excited to explore colour and went shopping straight away. I always used to walk round the shops not having a clue what to do and would end up settling for another black top. I feel empowered and ready to step in to the next part of my life looking and feeling good. I have time for me now that my children are grown up and exploring colour and clothes is actually really good fun.’

‘I felt on a high for days afterwards and it felt better than a holiday in some ways. Without sounding corny, it’s like I was walking round in the dark and now I can see. It’s only been a few days of wearing clothes in my colours and people have already complimented me - how amazing is that - I haven’t felt this good about myself in a long time.’